When It's Time to Leave: Making a Major Career Change
(Photo by Damian Siodłak on Unsplash)
The job market is undeniably rough right now. Hiring is slowing, layoffs are rising, and economic uncertainty has many companies in a holding pattern. Yet despite this turbulence—or perhaps because of it—I'm still contacted weekly by people seeking career coaching. They want to leave their jobs.
As I prepared to meet with a new client recently, I revisited an article from 2021 that resonated deeply with our current moment: "The 3 Phases of Making a Major Life Change" by Herminia Ibarra, published in Harvard Business Review.
Ibarra opened with a striking statistic: During the pandemic, 49% of people said it "gave me downtime to rest and/or think." That's exactly what I'm hearing from clients today. We're back in offices, masks are mostly gone, but people are still reflecting on what might be next.
Perhaps we haven't fully emerged from the pandemic's emotional fallout. Ibarra describes this reflective work as "important inner business—asking the big existential questions, remembering what makes us happy, shoring up the strength to make difficult choices, consolidating our sense of self, and more."
This is the foundation of meaningful career coaching.
The Three Phases of Major Change
Ibarra lays out 3 phases in a career transition:
Separation: Stepping away from a familiar context is crucial to lasting change.
Liminality: After stepping away, pursue experiments that allow you to try things on before committing to a new role.
Reintegration: Understand that adjusting to a new context takes time. Be patient with the process.
These phases perfectly capture my own experience. I made significant career changes in both 2009 and 2019, and each followed this pattern.
Separation
In 2009, I left a beloved job of 15 years because continuing under that leadership became impossible. The exit was heart-wrenching—nearly all my significant relationships were connected to that place. I fell into situational depression but slowly recognized the wisdom in leaving. Month by month, I saw how toxic the environment had become, how it had eroded my confidence and health. Though it felt like a divorce, I had to fully separate to move forward.
Ten years later in 2019, familiar feelings returned. The leadership wasn't toxic, but my sense of meaning and impact was fading. Because of my previous experience, I knew not to wait until things got really bad. I separated again, leaving the familiar for the unknown.
Liminality
Once I removed myself from those familiar settings, my schedule opened dramatically. I could have spiraled into sadness, but I chose to be constructive with the time. Ibarra describes this beautifully through a past client:
Lockdown created a liminal time and space, a "betwixt and between" zone, in which the normal rules that governed Sophie's professional life were temporarily lifted, and she felt able to experiment with all sorts of work and leisure pursuits without committing to any of them.
This was exactly my experience after my 2009 exit. I taught a course at a prep school part-time. I conducted informational interviews with college faculty about adjunct teaching. I took on a short-term fundraising project for an environmental organization. I explored coaching with nonprofits.
I needed income, but I'd intentionally saved enough to give myself breathing room. This was crucial—I didn't know what I wanted to do, and while mired in my previous career, I couldn't think clearly enough to figure it out. I needed freedom to experiment and heal.
I've maintained this experimental mindset. In the past six years, I've taken at least one certification course annually and eventually earned my International Coaching Federation credential. The learning keeps things fresh and energizing.
Reintegration
This phase deserves extra attention. Had I known how sad I'd be after leaving my job in 2009, I might not have done it—despite it being the right decision. I experienced an extended season of grieving after both exits. There were significant relational losses, but more importantly, I hadn't realized how much my identity was wrapped up in my work. A part of me had to die and I needed time to mourn.
Paradoxically, there's adrenaline at the beginning of any new start, but Ibarra notes that feeling quickly fades. You must stay vigilant about sustaining the new direction while still recovering from the past.
The Balancing Act
Shifting to a new career trajectory requires a tricky balance: staying aware of how your past affects you while focusing on what lies ahead. You need trusted sources of accountability and insight to stick with the process—which is exactly what I provide for my clients.
Ibarra ends with this challenge, and I couldn't say it better:
...it's now up to you to decide whether you will use this period to effect real career change—or whether, instead, you'll drift back into your old job and patterns as if nothing ever happened.
Are you questioning your career path or feeling trapped in your current profession? I specialize in helping professionals navigate career transitions with confidence. Hit the Contact link at the bottom to ask for a complimentary consultation to discuss how career coaching can support your journey toward more fulfilling work.
