Networking, Identity and Social Media: Being Your Authentic Self Online
"I have a mental block when it comes to social media. All I see are shiny selfies, shallow pitches, and fake promises.…"
I was coaching a client who needed to network more on LinkedIn to promote his excellent services. Despite making some progress, he admitted he simply dislikes social media and "gets no dopamine hits from it."
When I asked about this negativity, he expressed disgust with online superficiality. I reminded him that, unlike many influencers, he is earnest, selfless, and consistently delivers on his promises. (PS he gave me his permission to share all of this!)
Who Are You Online?
"Why are you so focused on how you don't want to be? Can we just focus on how you want to be?" I asked.
This shifted us into a meaningful conversation about authentic online presence. I believe persistence in authenticity eventually pays off—it certainly has in my experience. I encouraged him to reframe LinkedIn as a networking platform, not traditional social media. As my friend Peter describes it: LinkedIn is essentially a virtual conference where you exchange business cards and make professional connections.
The Authenticity Challenge
But how do we maintain authenticity online? In an era where technology enables photo manipulation, AI voice cloning, and deepfakes, discerning what's real becomes increasingly difficult.
A Harvard Business Review article, "Who Are You as a Leader?" addresses this question of authenticity and identity with a powerful insight:
The key to building connections… is to first arrive at a thorough understanding of your own identity—the interrelated elements that you use to define yourself... Only once you've identified the many facets of your identity can you "identify commonality" with people from a wide variety of backgrounds.
This perspective has guided my own LinkedIn strategy. Rather than simply promoting services, I aim to share glimpses of who I am as a person.
Defining Your Professional Lanes
The HBR article's concept of "roles" proved especially helpful. When I committed to regular LinkedIn posting in 2021, I identified four core "lanes" that reflect both my coaching expertise and personal values:
Leadership development
Emotional intelligence
Stress management and mental health
Spirituality and purpose
These aren't just my professional service areas—they represent the qualities I want to be remembered for. Nearly everything I post connects to one of these themes.
I guide my clients through a similar process when developing their career plans and crafting their LinkedIn profiles, helping them define their values and articulate how they pursue them intentionally.
Avoiding the Persona Trap
Another quote from the HBR article presents an important distinction:
You have more control over your identity than you may realize: You can curate it in ways that will improve your performance as a leader, the trust you're able to inspire in others, and even your overall well-being.
However, there's a fine line between intentional identity curation and creating a false persona. Merriam-Webster defines persona as "an individual's social façade or front" — precisely what undermines authentic connection.
Character Development: Begin with the End in Mind
What most profoundly shaped my own identity came from Stephen Covey's "The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People." Habit 2—Begin with the End in Mind—transformed my perspective.
Covey's funeral visualization exercise made me realize I couldn't work on my reputation retrospectively. Instead, I needed to immediately adopt the behaviors and character qualities I wanted to be remembered for.
Years later, at a farewell party from a beloved job, I heard colleagues describe me with the very qualities I had intentionally cultivated after reading Covey's book. It was like hearing a preview of my own eulogy!
Daily Intention Setting
Maintaining authentic self-presentation requires ongoing intentionality. Daily reflection practices, which I've written about previously, provide the foundation for this work.
Being centered and grounded—consistently aligning who you claim to be with how others perceive you—demands effort but delivers tremendous value. When you commit to this authentic integration, sharing glimpses of your journey online creates genuine connections that truly matter in your professional life.
REFLECTION: What practices help you maintain authenticity in your professional networking? I'd love to hear your thoughts in the comments.
If you're feeling ready to take the next step in your own identity process, I invite you to schedule a complimentary 30-minute consultation. Together, we can explore how personalized coaching might support your growth and development. Just use the Contact button at the bottom of the page. Thanks for reading!
