I Think I Chose the Wrong Career: A Coaching Success Story
Recognizing the Signs of Career Misalignment
Last year I received a text from a former student I'd worked with when he was a teenager. Now approaching 30, his message was simple: "Hey! (So-and-so) encouraged me to reach out to you. I'm wondering if we can talk sometime."
Throughout my career coaching journey, I've received many such messages. While you never know exactly what prompted them to reach out or how complex their situation might be, I always welcome these opportunities to reconnect and potentially help.
We scheduled a FaceTime call so I could better gauge his current state. Within minutes, I could see he was struggling significantly. His voice was strained, his breathing shallow – clear indicators of acute anxiety. As he shared his story, the source became evident: despite dedicating nearly a decade to education and three years of professional experience in his chosen field, he felt trapped in a career that was causing him significant distress.
The Weight of Perceived Failure
"I feel like a failure," he admitted.
This sentiment is something I hear frequently in career transition coaching. After investing approximately ten years between undergraduate studies, graduate school, and professional certification, he faced the crushing realization that his career path wasn't working – despite his persistent efforts and dedication.
During our initial conversation, I primarily listened. Then I suggested we meet again to work through some reflective questions, creating a structured approach to his career reassessment. What he needed most urgently, however, was validation that he wasn't alone and that he had support during this challenging time.
Uncovering the Root Causes
Over subsequent sessions, I learned more details about his professional situation. While maintaining confidentiality about his specific field, it became clear that his academic preparation had limited practical application in his day-to-day responsibilities – a common disconnect in many professions.
I related to his experience. In my previous career, I attended seminary with 24 classes focused predominantly on teaching and preaching. Only one class specifically addressed emotional support – yet in practice, approximately 90% of my time involved helping students navigate complex interpersonal dynamics rather than delivering lessons.
As we explored the sources of his career anxiety, we identified two key factors:
External pressure from a demanding employer with relentless expectations
More significantly, a deeper fear of disappointing his family
The Weight of Others' Expectations
This pattern of external influence on career choices is remarkably common. As Rebecca Knight describes in her Harvard Business Review article, "6 Questions to Ask at the Midpoint of Your Career":
"Many people are influenced by external factors early in their careers, whether it's parental pressure, societal norms, or a desire to conform to particular notions of success. This can lead to career choices that prioritize others' expectations over your own desires and interests."
Through our coaching conversations, he also acknowledged additional fears: judgment from friends (many in the same profession) and perhaps most paralyzing, the belief that he had "wasted the last ten years" of his life.
Reframing Failure as Experience
My response surprised him: "I don't see it as a waste of time. You did it for 10 years. You gave it a good shot. Now you're ready for something else!"
While this type of career reassessment often occurs at midlife, my client was experiencing what might be called a "quarter-life crisis" – an earlier recognition of career misalignment that positioned him advantageously for a meaningful pivot.
The turning point came through the intentional reframing of his situation. Rather than seeing himself as a failure, our coaching process helped him:
Reevaluate his authentic priorities and values
Identify transferable skills from his previous experience
Develop a career transition plan aligned with his genuine interests
Create a narrative that honored his past while embracing a new direction
The Successful Pivot
I'm delighted to report that one year later, he has successfully transitioned to a new career path that he genuinely enjoys. His new role leverages valuable skills from his previous training – particularly research and data analysis capabilities – without the intense pressures that were damaging his wellbeing.
Key Takeaways for Those Facing Career Doubts
If you're experiencing similar feelings about your career choice, consider these coaching insights:
Recognize that career transitions are normal – most professionals will make several significant changes throughout their working lives
Identify transferable skills from your current role that can bridge to new opportunities
Examine whose expectations are driving your career choices – your own or others'
Reframe "failure" as valuable experience that informs your next chapter
Seek support from a career coach who can provide objective guidance during transition
Remember that career development isn't strictly linear and, sometimes, the detours become the most meaningful part of your professional journey.
Are you questioning your career path or feeling trapped in your current profession? I specialize in helping professionals navigate career transitions with confidence. Hit the Contact link at the bottom to ask for a complimentary consultation to discuss how career coaching can support your journey toward more fulfilling work.
